Category Archives: drinking stories

Clown Sex

Today’s Drinking Story: Here we see Jonathan Selwood wake up from a one-night stand in the middle of a three ring circus.  I jolt awake to find myself brutally hungover and completely surrounded by clowns.  Clown wallpaper, a clown headboard, … Continue reading

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RIP: Harry Crews.

I was heartbroken to hear Harry Crews passed away. Crews has been one of my favorite writers for years. I’ve been on a quest the last few years to hunt down his out of print 70s novels, in fact. Without … Continue reading

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House Party 2

Today’s Drinking Story: Here we see Ani Smith dive headlong into the liquor cabinet and equally free-fall into some staggeringly dark places. To accelerate mood I enter the room, beeline for drinks, swallow three shots, make 50/50 gin and tonic then … Continue reading

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Voodoo Wedding

Today’s Drinking Story: Here we see Patrick Wensink nipping from a flask and a doughnut on his wedding day. Okay let’s pretend for a few minutes that you are my son or daughter. It’s a stretch to assume I’m not … Continue reading

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Six Years of Failure

Patrick published a story chronicling Broken Piano for President‘s six years of repeated failure at the amazingly awesome Thought Catalog.  Here’s a taste:   While [my agent] Moreen is enthusiastic about Broken Piano for President, I discreetly ignore numerous red flags. … Continue reading

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Hanging Up the Horns

 Today’s Drinking Story: Here, we see Patrick Wensink grudgingly grow up and stop imitating livestock.  Since the pioneers founded Reno, NV, people have filed divorce papers for a blizzard of reasons. Just ask anyone in Hollywood, most millionaires, or those people … Continue reading

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It’s Not the Alcohol, It’s the Heroin.

Today’s Drinking Story: Here we see former Guided By Voices bassist and novelist James Greer admitting to drinking and driving with one of the biggest rock bands of the 90s.  There was the time when Breeders had just finished Last Splash … Continue reading

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You Want Some Chew?

Today’s drinking story: Here we see Ben Tanzer review his fruitful life of drinking. We also learn Kelly D. was a babe. But you already knew that. I do not have a drinking problem. Though, my drink of choice is … Continue reading

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Seigfried, Pass Me A Drumstick.

Today’s Drinking Story: Here we see Patrick Wensink overcome by the magic of binge drinking with a polka band while being hypnotized by Seigfried and Roy. Once, Keith Moon, the drummer for the Who, took so many horse tranquilizers he … Continue reading

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